to acknowledge that I want a child is to acknowledge that my parents wanted me that someone wants me that someone thought the world would be better off with me in it that without me, something was missing. and for some reason my soul has trouble accepting that.
Reflecting (~7 months after originally writing this poem): i really want to be a parent someday. i want to be a soft place for a child to land when things get hard (i heard this phrase recently and its stuck in my head. it just feels nice). I want to be a safe space to be imperfect. i want the experience of parenthood. i think i would be good at it.